I would describe having a chronic illness as living life on a roller coaster. One of the greatest challenges with this disease has been finding someone who understands. The invisibility of my symptoms makes me feel crazy sometimes because I can feel incredibly bad but not look a bit different.
I have such a hard time explaining to people how I am feeling and how the MS affects me. Most of the time I just give up. My life has been changed since MS mainly by making me tired ALL of the time and not able to do as much as I used to. I can't spend much time outside when it is warm. My greatest fear from the MS is that I will lose even more of me and that I will be completely worthless.
What I have gained as a result of having MS is a greater understanding of pain and functioning with that constant "thorn in your side". MS has impacted my relationships with others because I do not think they can possibly understand and it is exhausting to try. I keep a lot from people about my feelings - in fact I probably keep it from myself too. I don't think I have expressed to anyone else how much I hate this disease and the person it has made me into. Most days I cannot stand being inside my own skin.
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